Monday, July 05, 2004


I am sitting at my desk at work, and it is eerily empty and quite creepy. It is deathly silent, and dark except for the pool of light around my workstation.

What am I doing at work so late? Is the CEO driving me so hard that I'm working around the clock to keep up with her demands? Actually, no - she is on holidays this week, and even when she's here, I wouldn't exactly say she's a slave driver. Well, then, am I so fed up with my flatmates and that desperate to get away from them that I've been hanging out at work until they're safely asleep? Uh-uh. I am happy to hide out in my room at home when I don't really want to speak with them. Not that I am usually that antisocial, of course ;)

My motivation for being at work at this ungodly hour is a much more primal, and pressing, one - the urge to pee.

I was in my bedroom, conscientiously stuffing my clothes into a suitcase in preparation for the big weekend move, when my flatmate poked her head through my doorway and informed me that the toilet was "a bit blocked up". Umm, okay, I said, thinking, what do you want me to do about it? So yeah, said the flatmate, it's not looking too good, so if you need to go you'll have to go outside. Hmmm. It's 3 degrees, the backyard is a freaking jungle, it is pitch dark and she wants me to go pee outside??! Does she think this is Survivor??! I headed to the bathroom, just to be certain she wasn't somehow mistaken - and sure enough, a distinctly unhealthy glurbing sound was bubbling up from the bowels of the toilet every few seconds, like a big ceramic stomach struggling to digest a vindaloo curry.

After deciding that my neighbours probably wouldn't take too kindly to me banging on their door at 10.30 asking to use their loo, I figured my best option was to make the quick trip in to work and use the nice, clean facilities here. Coz if there's one thing I am fussy about, it's toilet hygiene. And no, I'm not so good with camping ;)

And now I think it's time to make a hasty exit through the menacing black corridors of the office out to my car, being sure to not let my imagination run away with me...definitely not thinking of scenes from The RIng or the Blairwitch Project...only thinking of my nice, warm bed and my cuddly kitty...


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