Moochness

Monday, September 06, 2004

Show them You Care
(AKA How to Get Your Human out of Bed at 5am when You want to Play)

By guest blogger Oscar

Y'know, humans can be lazy creatures sometimes. Not like us cats, who are always keen to get a good start to the day by getting up bright and early in the morning. It can be hard to convince your human that they want to play at 5am, but if you show them that you care about them, they'll be willing to give you a little bit in return. Here are my top tips on how to get that lazy human out of bed - coz we all know, when you gotta play, you just gotta play!

1) Humans love affection. They really love being kissed on the face - especially with a cold, wet nose. What a great way to start the day, getting kisses from your favourite feline!

2) Humans also enjoy getting close to their cats. They love it when you cuddle up to them, and they appreciate you sitting on them to keep them warm. It is best to sit on exposed parts of their body - such as their face - for this purpose.

3) To show your human that you want to play, it's a good idea to do some "warm up" play activities. Forget that fake mouse that your human bought for you - PLASTIC BAGS make the best toys. Pick one that makes a really loud rustling noise, and chase it around your human's bedroom a few times, being careful to not let it get away.

4) When you're done with the plastic bag, it's time to show your human that you love their favourite things as much as they do. Find your human's favourite pair of leather shoes, and give them a bit of a chew. Remember, bite marks show that you care.

5) In the event that your human takes away the shoes, you should move on to something else equally enjoyable to chew. Like that white cord connecting their laptop to the wall. Or, if your claws are feeling a little blunt, you could sharpen them on the side of your human's mattress.

6) If all else fails, you may have to take drastic measures. Leave your human's bedroom, go sit at the bottom of the stairs, and do your best Celine Dion impersonation. Threatening your human's housemates' sanity in addition to your human's is a sure fire way to get their attention!

Happy playing!
Oscar xxx

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