Thursday, March 30, 2006

Feeling rageful

This makes me so fucking angry. The Federal government refuses to recognise that the concept of marriage can extend to same sex relationships, so the ACT government decides to legislate to allow civil unions between gay couples, so that they have the same rights as heterosexual couples. And so, the Federal government feels it has to step in to prevent this travesty from happening.

And Philip Ruddock's circular argument??

The law prescribes what a marriage is, and you don't work through a civil relationship, which we know and understand the States and Territories can deal with, to suggest that it is the equivalent of a marriage, when it's not.

In other words, 'the law' says that marriage can only be between a man and a woman. Therefore, you can't have 'civil unions' allowing people the same rights, because then it would just be marriage under another name. And dammit, gay people can't get married!

Bigoted, homophobic, narrow-minded asshats. They're running our country, people!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Oh, she wants to conquer the world completely

Phase 1: get some friends in high places. Y'know, as a hypothetical example, it would be useful to have a friend who might have access to, say, the Prime Minister, or one of his senior Ministers, and who could be brainwashed to perform a nice beheading tae kwon do maneuver to the tune of Relax... But unfortunately, male model friends can be a little hard to come by, so if perhaps you had a friend who was a doctor who might be about to move to Canberra to work closely with an aforementioned senior politician, and who might be able to have a positive influence on that politician, well, he or she might suffice. :)

Phase 2: find some adoring minions who will do your dirty work and fund your efforts to take over the universe. Hell, they might even set up a webring to celebrate your greatness*.

Phase 3: bring on the WORLD DOMINATION!! Bwahahahaha!

*Yes, I am the only Amie G in the world. Honest.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Step into my office, baby

So I'm continuing with studies this year, and now that the uni semester has officially started, I've gone back to working 4 days a week instead of 5. The theory being that I'll use my extra day off to work on my thesis, so that I can get it all finished and handed in by the end of the year. Y'know, get stuck into lots of reading, narrow down the topic that I'm going to work on, have regular meetings with my supervisor and come up with a research proposal that I can flesh out as the year progresses.

Sounds good as a theory.

So yesterday afternoon, as I was conducting valuable scientific research while browsing through David Jones with my mother, a helpful sales assistant approached and admired the suit that I was looking at.

"Oh, that's a lovely suit", she said. "There are two different styles of pants available, these slimmer line ones and these more flowing ones. There are also two different jackets, and as you have a bigger bust*, you would probably want to go for the one-button rather than the two-button one."

Hee! A bigger bust!! Me!!! I could've hugged the sales assistant right then and there.

Being as I've never had such a compliment paid to me before, and am most unlikely to ever again unless I invest in some plastic surgery or an inflatable bra, I was determined to get as much mileage as possible out of my new status as well-endowed.

Mother: (holding up a top from Events) "Hmm, I love the colour of this top. And it's a pretty reasonable price, too - would be good for you for work. Although, the neckline might be a little low…"
Me: Ah, that's not a problem - us bigger-busted women can carry off tops like this easily! We've got so much cleavage to display!!


Me: clothes sizing is so hopelessly unpredictable. I bought a pair of pants the other day which were two sizes smaller than a shirt in exactly the same brand. How does that work?
Me: of course, it is most likely just that I have such an ample chest. I'm sure that's the cause of all my clothes sizing problems.

Ah yes, what wit!

The rest of my afternoon was amazingly productive. Do you know the best way to get something done that you've been putting off for ages and ages?? Find something that you want to do even less. Case in point: my car. I think the last time I washed it was about mid-2004… and yet, yesterday afternoon, it became imperative that I wash it RIGHT AWAY. That study I was supposed to be doing?? Pish, not nearly as important as getting my car clean this very instant!! Also, I had been inspired by hearing that the lovely Nads washes her car weekly...

And the results were amazing. The best part was the wheels - who knew that silver lurked somewhere under all that black??! It was like watching a beautiful butterfly emerge from its dull, grey and dusty cocoon.

Next Monday I'll be defrosting my fridge, or scrubbing out my oven, I'm sure.

*I refuse to consider the possibility that what she really meant was "you are quite broad across the back so this two-button jacket will look like crap on you". We all know that sales assistants are paid to be brutally honest to their customers, not to exaggerate the truth or flatter them!!